The Secret of The Chocolate Frog Cards
by CarusoMustDie
Summary: The Secret of The Chocolate Frog Cards is finally revealed! But what is...it? WE WILL UPDATE ONE DAY! I SWEAR!
1. Prologue

The Secret of The Chocolate Frog Cards  
  
Disclaimer: The usual.  
  
  
  
Prologue:  
  
"Oh, Severus, do not forget your...chocolate frog card," Dumbledore whispered, smiling. Dumbledore gave him "The Look."  
  
The very look that sent chills down Severus's back.  
  
Snape flinched.  
  
"Yes, Headmaster," he replied.  
  
"Very well, then. Off you go."  
  
The Potions Master wicked his hair around, wafted out of the room, and left The Headmaster twirling his thumbs.  
  
Professor McGonagall looked towards him and laughed.  
  
Dumbledore spoke, growing ever more happy. "Yes, Minerva. I know exactly what you are...thinking."  
  
"Oh, do you?" She said quickly, " I mean, you have just given him another...responsibility. I just believe  
  
Severus Snape is old enough to know not to simply leave his card lying around, Albus!"  
  
"He is indeed, Minerva. But like so many...or more correctly...so few know, a great burden is put upon those who   
  
know...The...Secret...of...The...ChocolateFrogCards!" Dumbledore replied, suddenly increasing his speed   
  
at "Chocolate Frog Cards."  
  
Professor McGonagall coughed violently. "Yes! Yes! Indeed!" She replied loudly, agreeing.  
  
"Ah, anyways, Minerva! May I offer you a Puking Pa..." he began.  
  
The Deputy Headmistress cut him off, "No!"  
  
"But--"  
  
"No, Albus! No! Remember when you *accidentally* gave me a Canary Cream, and you *conveniently* forgot to tell  
  
me the side-effects?" She now looked rather upset.  
  
"Oh, yes," Dumbledore said chuckling, picking up a frame and showing her. "I still...*still*...have the picture.   
  
I actually displayed it in the men's lavatory for some time."  
  
"WHAT?!" she shrieked.  
  
"Calm yourself, Minerva."  
  
McGonagall gave him a rather severe look. "You had better be joking."   
  
"Actually...yes!" He said, grinning.  
  
McGonagall didn't look any happier. "Well! I still...*still*...had to teach my classes...covered in feathers!   
  
Feathers, Albus! The students talked about it for weeks..."  
  
"Yes, I believe it was in the school paper as well."  
  
Growing even more red, she ignored him and continued, "Neville Longbottom, poor simpleton, thought I had a horrible   
  
accident with a new Transfiguration spell!"  
  
Dumbledore simply smiled. "Very well, Minerva. Very...well. Let us not have you going to class puking on  
  
poor Neville Longbottom," said Dumbledore, quietly. "Now, we should discuss Ms. Susan Bones. I hear she   
  
is...sneaking...into...*Gryffindor*...classes," he continued, now issuing her "The Look." I believe that we should--"  
  
"Vera Verto!!!" screamed McGonagall, as she reached inside her robes, withdrew her wand, and swished  
  
it four times through the air. 


	2. The Truth About The Canary Creams and Th...

Chapter 1: The Truth About The Canary Cream and The New Cards  
  
A water goblet began to fall and an arm quickly caught it.  
  
"Ah, Fawkes! You make an exceptional water goblet. Good work, Minerva. I must, however, ask you to change...him...back..."   
  
Dumbledore said, quiet amused.  
  
"Only if you reveal the identity of the culprit who put that awful picture of me in the newspaper," demanded McGonagall.  
  
I have been wanting to know now for quite some time, Albus!"   
  
"Of course. Miss Granger took a roll of photographs, and I simply picked out my favorites," Dumbledore replied.  
  
"YOU WHAT?! How could you do that to me, Albus?" McGonagall asked enraged.  
  
"It was the biggest news since Severus and the Boggart...incident, and this time there were...pictures!"  
  
"I see! Well, I believe that I will be taking Fawkes for a period of time."  
  
"Oh, do you?" asked Albus.  
  
"Oh, yes, indeed! And when I feel fit to bring him back; I will do so!" she screamed, as she snatched the water goblet, and  
  
fled from Dumbledore's office.  
  
"She's a firebrand!" he said, cheerfully, towards some of the pictures on his wall, "Now, you see why I always insist   
  
on keeping her...Ah!"  
  
***  
  
Soon, Dumbledore made his way out of his office, down the corridors, and to the Start of Term Feast. He saw that he was  
  
late, as the new first years had already been sorted into their houses. He tried to sneak up to the staff table, but  
  
Professor McGonagall, of course, spotted him.  
  
"You're late." she stated, quietly.  
  
"A wizard is never late, Minerva McGonagall. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!" Dumbledore  
  
said, laughing.  
  
She ignored him and took up her goblet. It was indeed the water goblet of Fawkes, and McGonagall smiled, slyly, as  
  
Dumbledore eyed her.  
  
"May I have you attention?!" she said loudly, tapping the goblet so hard that she was obviously trying to crack it.  
  
She continued tapping, and tapping, and tapping.  
  
"That will be quite enough, Minerva." The Headmaster whispered, smiling.  
  
"Do you think so, Albus?" she retorted.  
  
Dumbledore stood up out of his chair and began to address the students, "Welcome to yet...another school year...here...  
  
at...HogwartsSchoolofWitchcraftandWizardry!"  
  
Some of the students looked at each other and laughed.  
  
"As always, I have a few announcements to make. Firstly, just as...*every*...year, the Forbidden Forest is...  
  
*forbidden*...to students," he continued, merrily, "And, of course, Mr. Filch wants me to tell you, and for  
  
the four hundred and sixty...*third*...time, that magic is not to be used in the corridors between your classes."  
  
Argus Filch, standing at the back of the Great Hall, grinned widely.  
  
Dumbledore carried on, "Quidditch tryouts will be held during the second week of school. Normally, you would see  
  
Madam Hooch for this, but as I have recently fired her candy ass, you will now need to see...Oliver...Wood!"  
  
The whole school gasped in shock, as Dumbledore let out a small "Ah!" at the staff table.  
  
"Did you hear that?!" Ron asked Harry and Hermione, "Wood's must be the new flying lessons teacher!"  
  
"Well, that's good news. I bet it'll be fun," Harry responded.  
  
Hermione said nothing.  
  
"And before too many of you are overly excited we have another position to fill."  
  
Harry stopped smiling.  
  
"Like basically *all* years now, we have had new Defense Against The Dark Arts teachers," Dumbledore spoke and quickly  
  
added, "Andthisyearisnodifferent!"  
  
Ron and Harry now looked extremely worried.  
  
"After the unfortunate fates of the ones before, I have decided to pick a more...reliable...teacher. Now filling in  
  
and teaching...*two* classes...ProfessorSeverusSnape!" Dumbledore bellowed, gleefully, over the screams.  
  
Many students began to protest, some simply continued shrieking, and some even ran out of the Great Hall bursting  
  
with tears.  
  
"No!" wailed Hermione.  
  
"Yes!" replied Dumbledore, now looking the happiest he had yet at the feast, "Settle down now. I know this  
  
is...unexpected...news, but I'm sure most of you are quite thrilled!"  
  
All eyes turned toward Snape. He grinned so hugely that you could see everyone of his yellow teeth.  
  
"It can't be! It just...*can't* be!" Ron yelled.  
  
"Oh, it can! And it is!" Dumbledore chuckled, "Oh, and another thing! Slytherins and Gryffindors will have all classes  
  
together this year! I would like to thank Professor Snape for this brilliant idea."  
  
Ron looked as though he was about to burst into tears.  
  
Harry had made no sound, and was simply sitting in his chair stunned.  
  
"Let the feast...begin!" cried Dumbledore, joyfully.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, over at Grimmauld Place, Molly and The Order of Phoenix were having a feast as well.   
  
"TONKS!" Molly Weasley yelled, "You spilled pumpkin juice all over my brand new tablecloth!"   
  
"Sorry," Tonks apologized, "Evanesco. All better."  
  
Molly didn't seem to think so. She gave Tonks an evil eye.  
  
"When is Dumbledore arriving?" Remus Lupin asked changing the subject.  
  
"Maybe he was ambushed," Mad-Eye growling his electric blue eye spinning faster than ever.  
  
"Honestly, Alastor. That is the last thing that would happen," Molly stated.  
  
"Well, then pass the mashed potatoes," Mad-Eye replied.  
  
Everyone watched as he ran his fork through them. "Can't be too careful these days..."  
  
Tonks let out a laugh but was silenced by Molly's piercing glare.  
  
A knock was heard in the kitchen.  
  
"Who could that be?" Molly inquired.  
  
"It's Mundungus," Moody said, looking at the door, through the back of his head.  
  
"Ah, I believe you can answer the door, Remus. If I have to see one more piece of stolen..." Molly's voice said rising.  
  
"It's quiet alright. I'll get the door," Remus retorted mildly.  
  
Remus went to the door and others continued eating.  
  
"Mundungus, how nice to see you." Remus said, loudly, turning towards the others. He then looked back to see a tall,  
  
bespectacled wizard with a white beard standing at the door way. Lupin fainted to the ground in shock.  
  
"Ah! Hello everyone," said Dumbledore, gleefully, stepping over Remus's body.   
  
"WHAT?! Dumbledore?!" Alastor yelled choking on his butterbeer.  
  
"Yes, it is me! But I believe that Remus Lupin has fainted," Dumbledore smiled, "Maybe I should simply slap him until  
  
he awakens?! What say you, Molly?!"  
  
"Are you mad, Albus? All--" she began.  
  
"Yes!" he said, slapping Lupin a couple of times.  
  
"Albus! Just stand back!"  
  
Dumbledore stepped away from Remus's limp body, "Of course."  
  
"Ennervate," Molly muttered, pointing her wand at Lupin's chest.  
  
He slowly opened his eyes to see Molly looking sternly at Dumbledore and Dumbledore smiling.  
  
"Ah! He has...awakened," Albus stated.  
  
"What...what happened?" Remus asked.  
  
"You simply fainted at the sight of me! It was actually quite amusing. I was attempting to revive you by--"  
  
"ALBUS!" Molly screamed.  
  
Lupin got up, and began to complain about his cheek hurting.  
  
"Yes! That must be a side effect of the Molly's spell. It sometimes happens when they are...incorrectly...  
  
performed..." Dumbledore said, giving Molly "The Look."  
  
Tonks burst into a fit of laughter. She then accidentally fell onto the floor, knocking over several plates.  
  
"THAT IS IT!" Molly shrieked, as she stormed away.  
  
"Anyway...I had to come in disguise. There are dementors everywhere. And one can never be too careful..."  
  
Dumbledore whispered.  
  
Lupin finally stood up from the ground, shook his head a little, and looked at Dumbledore.  
  
"So what is this about, Albus?" growled Mad-Eye.  
  
"Ah! Yes! Well, we should await the arrival of Mundungus Fletcher, and perhaps it would be best if  
  
one of you would go and fetch Molly for me?" he stated.  
  
"I will," Lupin replied, heading towards the hallway.  
  
Another knock was heard at the door, as Remus and Molly re-entered the room. Tonks opened the door, and it was none  
  
other than Mundungus.  
  
"Ah!" exclaimed Albus.  
  
"Look. It's Mundungus," Molly stated, a little too happily, and then her eyes narrowed at Dumbledore, "The *real*  
  
Mundungus."  
  
"Indeed!" Dumbledore cried.  
  
"Yeah...well...sorry I'm late. I had a little trouble buying a ticket on The Knight Bus. They insisted that I  
  
had already purchased one!" Mundungus told them.  
  
"Imagine that," Molly said, blandly.  
  
Dumbledore smiled. "How odd!"  
  
Moody cleared his throat loudly, clearly signaling that they should get back to the real reason of the meeting.  
  
"Er...Yes, Alastor. So sorry," Dumbledore apologized, "I have had you all meet here...Molly...Remus...Nymphadora...  
  
M--"  
  
Tonks coughed loudly.  
  
"Sorry...*Tonks*...Mundungus... and Arthur--" he stopped, "Where is Arthur?"  
  
Molly responded, "Working."  
  
"Of course," whispered Albus, "I have called you all here to issue you the new...and *improved*...ChocolateFrogCards!"  
  
"Cool!" Tonks squealed.  
  
She was again silenced by a look from Molly.  
  
"Enjoy!" Dumbledore exclaimed, passing the cards out.  
  
"But where's the chocolate?" Tonks asked, disappointed.  
  
Dumbledore looked as if he was doing some quick thinking. "Ah! Yes! I was...er...attacked by several viscous...  
  
flobberworms. My only defense was to ward them off with the chocolate!" he explained, licking off what appeared to  
  
be a smear of chocolate at the corner of his mouth. 


	3. Classes From Hell

Chapter 2: Classes From Hell  
  
"Yes, Harry. That's right--"  
  
"QUIET, Hermione! Quiet!" Professor McGonagall barked. "Now, Hatrabbitrabbithat...Withouttherabbit...and the hat."  
  
Ron was the first to recover from her yelling, and he then turned toward Hermione. "What has been up with her   
  
lately? The past few days she acts as though she wants to kill you."  
  
"She probably does," said Harry whispering.  
  
"That is it, Miss Granger! I have just told you to be quiet!"  
  
"But...I didn't..." Hermione began, but her sound was drowned out by McGonagall yelling.  
  
"50 points from Gryffindor!"  
  
Hermione again tried to speak, "But, professor. It wasn't me talking. It was--"  
  
"How dare you try to blame this on your fellow Gryffindors! 10 more points, you foolish girl!" And before   
  
Hermione could even begin to protest, she screeched once more, "And 10 more for your cheek!"  
  
McGonagall now went back to her lesson about turning a rabbit into a hat.  
  
Hermione seemed to be having the most trouble with trying to transfigure her rabbit. Every time   
  
she tried it would burst into feathers. She would transfigure it back to normal, but again and again it would  
  
mysteriously go wrong.  
  
"You're a bit off lately, Hermione," Ron told her, barely making a sound.  
  
She gave him a look that would rival McGonagall herself, and he was quickly shushed.  
  
"You could be doing worse..." Harry started.  
  
"SILENCIO! SILENCIO! SILENCIO!" Professor McGonagall shrieked, swooping by their desks, swishing her wand,  
  
and then looking straight at Hermione. She smiled. "Pathetic," she stated, coolly. "I do believe you will be   
  
needing Remedial Transfiguration, you silly girl, for such a awful showing!"  
  
All three looked at the ground.  
  
"I have not seen such idiocy since Rubeus Hagrid blew up a pet rabbit he owned 20 years ago, so an additional...  
  
*20*...points from Gryffindor!"  
  
Hermione scoffed in shock.  
  
"What was that, Miss Granger?" she inquired, "A further 5 points will be taken! Good-day!" McGonagall yelled as  
  
the class had just ended.  
  
Both Harry and Ron's mouths dropped open in disbelief.  
  
"And you, two," the professor began, now looking at them before they had a chance to leave, "50 points each will be taken  
  
for hanging around such a complete moron!"  
  
She waved her wand at them a few move times. They guessed it was to remove the charm that was placed upon them.  
  
Hermione, Harry, and Ron quickly sprinted out of the classroom without even looking back, and now entered the hall.  
  
"Ten points for running in the hallway!" screamed a voice from inside the classroom. It was the professor.  
  
"What?!" protested Hermione, the effects of McGonagall's silencing spell now wearing off.  
  
"EACH!" barked Professor McGonagall.   
  
***  
  
"She's off her rocker," Ron whispered, as the three made their way to their first Defense Against The Dark Arts class with  
  
Snape as the *permanent* teacher.  
  
"Yeah, and we've got Slytherins in every class this year!" Harry stated.  
  
  
  
"*And* McGonagall already took 225 points from us!" began Ron, as they entered Snape's class, "225 points!"  
  
"Silence," said a voice, "You are well aware that the only yelling in this classroom comes from me. 25 points from   
  
Gryffindor! Disrespecting professors is a serious offence. I do believe another 225 points in addition to Professor  
  
McGonagall's 225 will prevent this from happening again," stated Snape silkily, as he gave them a murderous look.   
  
Ron stood there in shock.  
  
"Well, sit down, you idiot boy!" Snape spat.  
  
Snape walked up to his desk and addressed the class, "Today, we will be covering the Avada Kadavra curse.  
  
I of course will not be performing it." Snape eyed Harry. He was amazed that the professor had not asked him to  
  
be a volunteer for the curse.  
  
"Would anyone like to explain what this curse does?" Snape inquired looking around.  
  
Hermione's hand flew into the air, but the professor somehow managed not to see it.  
  
"Does anyone know? No? I thought as much," Snape stated smirking.  
  
"Sir," Hermione began.  
  
"Miss Granger, do not speak unless you are spoken to! How can I teach if you are constantly interrupting my lessons?"  
  
"Professor, I don't think..."  
  
"Clearly...25 points for your stupidity."  
  
Snape walked up to Hermione's desk and leaned toward her, "As I was saying, today we are discussing the   
  
Avada Kadavra curse. Over your heads as it may be, excluding the Slytherins," Snape explained, "I expect you to   
  
grasp a basic...understanding of it."  
  
"You will write 12. That's right, Mr. Weasley. I said 12...inches of parchment on...The Effect of the Avada   
  
Kadavra Curse on Mudbloods," Snape smirked knowing that no one would dare defy him.  
  
Snape picked up a book and began to read. Hermione glanced at it and noticed the title: 101 Ways to Kill a Mudblood...  
  
Bloodily. He seemed to be quite enjoying it and let out a few soft laughs.  
  
An hour passed by, and Snape slammed down book making the whole class jump. "Silence!" he screamed even though   
  
no one was talking. "Cease all writing. Turn in your essays. Mr. Longbottom, do not forget to write your name   
  
or I will forget to grade it. And Mr. Weasley, do not continue writing when I have asked you to stop. 5 points from  
  
Gryffindor."  
  
The students hastily gathered into a line and each handed the professor their parchment. Snape glanced at a few of   
  
them and whispered, "Too short." as he waded the unacceptable essays up and disposed of them.   
  
Harry was the last to turn in his. He walked up to Snape's desk. Harry placed his essay on the desk,  
  
and the professor swiped at Harry's paper, knocking it on the floor. "Opps. How clumsy of you, Potter," Snape   
  
said curtly. Harry and Snape both reached to pick up the essay. Snape quickly snatched it, and Harry noticed   
  
a Chocolate Frog Card, with Dumbledore on it, had fallen out of Snape's robes. Harry went to pick it up. While he   
  
was doing this, the professor tapped Harry's essay. Hermione could have sworn he had heard Snape mutter an "evanesco"  
  
under his breath.   
  
"Potter, what is this?! I assure you I do not need an extra bit of parchment. It is not as if I am as poor as  
  
your pathetic excuse for a friend Weasley. Where is your essay?!"   
  
"I just handed it in to you, sir," Harry said, growing angry.   
  
"Do not lie to me, Potter! This paper is blank. A zero once again. And 50 points from Gryffindor. See that it   
  
does not happen again."  
  
"Er, sir..." Harry managed to get out through his gritted teeth.  
  
"What do you want?" Snape snapped.  
  
"You dropped this," Harry stated holding out the card.  
  
"Stealing from me again I see? Have you no shame? 50 more points from Gryffindor! Let's try to keep our sticky  
  
fingers to ourselves. Sit!"  
  
Snape moved back over to his desk and sat down. "I think we should now have a pop quiz, don't you..." Snape's  
  
head whipped toward the class. "...Miss Granger?"   
  
Hermione bit her lip so hard that she started to bleed.  
  
"Your silence means that you agree. Question 1: Why are Gryffindors such dunderheads? Question 2: Why does Potter  
  
think he is so special? Question 3: Why are Slytherins so good looking? Question 4: Why do the Weasleys insist on disgracing  
  
pureblood wizardry? Question Five: Why does Mr. Longbottom continue to come to my class when he knows he is wasting my time?"   
  
The students began writing quickly on their parchment. "And a bonus for you Miss Granger. Since you are more interested in  
  
watching me than working on your assignment, I trust you can answer this. List 20 ways to kill a Mudblood...bloodily," Snape  
  
said evilly, "An example would be slitting their throat and ripping out their--"  
  
"Severus!" Dumbledore said, appearing at the doorway.  
  
"Headmaster," Snape responded, suddenly whipping his head around to face him.  
  
"I understand you have a Miss...Susan Bones...in your class."  
  
"That is correct."  
  
"I would like to speak with the...*Hufflepuff*...in my office," Dumbledore spoke softly, smirking.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"I would like..."  
  
"Yes, I heard you! She is a Hufflepuff?!"  
  
"It's true, Severus. It's true!" Dumbledore said happily.  
  
"500 points from Hufflepuff!"  
  
Ron burst into laughter.  
  
"And 20 from Gryffindor for your snide vocalization," Snape said, spitting more every minute.  
  
"You do realize of course, Severus, that Hufflepuff will now have a score of negative 432 house points?"  
  
"Be that as it may, I would like to exercise my right to remove house points."  
  
"Very well, Severus. Miss...Bones...this way," Dumbledore whispered, smiling. 


	4. Dealing With Hufflepuff

Chapter 3: Dealing with Hufflepuff  
  
Susan Bones followed Dumbledore down the hall to the stairs that led to his office. The headmaster noticed a small cat  
  
on the steps but ignored it.  
  
"Canary...Cream," Dumbledore muttered, this clearly being the password to his office.  
  
"ALBUS!" a voice screamed.  
  
Professor McGonagall was now standing where the cat had been.  
  
"Ah! Minerva! I thought you were the stray cat that has been sneaking into my office, and eating all of my Chocolate  
  
Frogs," Dumbledore explained.  
  
"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, Albus! Do you think me capable of such a thing?" said  
  
McGonagall shaking so hard that a few Chocolate Frog boxes flew out her robes, and tumbled down the steps.  
  
Dumbledore reached down and picked up one, "Ah, I see, Minerva!"  
  
The Deputy Headmistress stood there speechless.  
  
"Chocolate Frog, Miss Bones?" Dumbledore inquired, turning toward Susan.   
  
"It must been Peeves! I passed him in the hallway and had a bit of trouble with him. He must have slipped them in my  
  
robes!" McGonagall told him, obviously making this up.  
  
"I see..." Dumbledore said unconvinced, "Very well, then. Off we go."  
  
"Albus, I would first...er...first like to take 50 points from Peeves himself!" Minerva screamed.  
  
"Certainly. And as Peeves' house is unknown, it would only be fair to deduct the points from...*Hufflepuff* house,"  
  
Dumbledore replied, giving Susan Bones "The Look."  
  
"Indeed!" McGonagall agreed.  
  
The Headmaster, Susan Bones, and Professor McGonagall now made their way up the stone steps leading to Dumbledore's office.  
  
All three stepped inside, and saw Professor Sprout waiting.  
  
"Ah! Already here, Pomona?!" Dumbledore exclaimed, "Would you all take a seat please?"  
  
Dumbledore sat behind his desk, and McGonagall made three more chairs appear with a wave of her wand.  
  
"I trust you know why you are here...Miss Bones?" Dumbledore asked, as the other three sat.  
  
"Yes, sir," Susan replied in a whisper.  
  
"If my data is correct, you have been attending Gryffindor classes for...five...years...now," Dumbledore stated, with a   
  
small smile.  
  
"FIVE YEARS?!" McGonagall yelled, "Why didn't you do something sooner?"  
  
"I expected for Miss Bones to come to me and confess, but she...*never*...did," Dumbledore explained.  
  
"I'm very sorry, sir," Susan said, timidly.  
  
"Yes! I would imagine so, but you do realize in the last five years you have broken at least 214 school rules?  
  
Thisissuffientenoughevidencetohaveyouexpelled! But since your true professor is Professor Sprout... and since Professor  
  
McGonagall did not notice this after five years...even though she watched you be sorted into *Hufflepuff*..."   
  
Dumbledore issued Minerva "The Look."  
  
"But since they were your professors...they will be the ones to decide your...fate," the Headmaster announced.  
  
"Yes! I should think so, Albus! And since Professor Sprout was hardly around as much as I...sorry, Pomona," McGonagall  
  
quickly apologized, now seeing the look on Sprout's face, "Anyway, since Miss Bones was around me more...I believe  
  
the decision is mine!"  
  
Dumbledore looked at Professor McGonagall and smiled, slightly. The Head of Hufflepuff took the smile badly.  
  
"Do I have *no* say in this?!" Professor Sprout protested, suddenly, "I should at least think that--"  
  
She was swiftly interrupted by the loud shouts of Professor McGonagall. "No, you most certainly do not! Tis *I*  
  
who was deceived! And I believe that *I* am the highest ranking official here, and --"  
  
"Actually...I am!" Dumbledore corrected her, cheerily, "First, we must--"  
  
"She shall be nothing less than expelled!" The Deputy Headmistress screamed over Professor Dumbledore, apparently  
  
having made up her own mind without the others.  
  
"I think not, Minerva!" Professor Sprout yelled, getting up from her chair, "No more than three months  
  
detention. What say you, Albus?!"  
  
He answered, "As I was saying earlier, we must first...calm...down."  
  
"Professor Dumbledore says nothing! Do not try to bring him to your side!"  
  
"I have done nothing of the sort! You have gone mad, Minerva McGonagall!"  
  
Professor McGonagall eyes widened at her comment, and then she shrieked, "Why you ungrateful b--"  
  
"SILENCE!" roared The Headmaster over the screams. Everyone was hushed. Dumbledore gave all three of them "The Look."  
  
"I am sorry," Professor Sprout began, "I lost my temper."  
  
"I should say so!" McGonagall shouted.  
  
"Minerva!" Dumbledore said, now rising out of his seat.  
  
"Sorry, Albus," she apologized.  
  
"Indeed..." Professor Dumbledore whispered, "I think we should...*all*...calm down and reach a decision together."  
  
He gave Minerva "The Look," and she clearly got the message.  
  
"Indeed, Albus!" she said, stood out of her chair, and turned toward Susan, "Report to your dormitory, immediately!  
  
And I do mean your actual one, Miss Bones..."  
  
Susan looked at Professor McGonagall, and then Minerva smiled, evilly.  
  
"...The one that takes the rest. Uh!" she slyly added. She had obviously meant Hufflepuff.  
  
"The rest...THE REST?!" Susan heard Professor Sprout begin, and then she turned to see several jets of red and green  
  
light flying through the air inside Dumbledore's office.  
  
***  
  
"That cow! How dare she attack me! But I showed her! I showed her, indeed!" McGonagall screamed, continuing her ranting.  
  
"Errrrr...Professor McGonagall. What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, softly.  
  
"What are *YOU* talking about, Miss Granger?! 20 points will be taken for nosing around in *my* business!"  
  
McGonagall had been making comments throughout the entire class period, and the students didn't have the slightest  
  
clue what she was going on about.  
  
"Class, I have an announcement to make," she said smiling, widely.  
  
All eyes went to Professor McGonagall.  
  
"Your own Professor Sprout attacked me only a few hours ago, but I got the better of her! I'm afraid I *severely* beat her   
  
in our little...wand battle," McGonagall sneered, smiling at her own comment, "She is...er...sadly...in the hospital  
  
wing at the moment."  
  
The whole class had not said a word. They were in complete shock.  
  
"Yes, that's right," she continued, now seeing the look upon their faces, "I put that conniving bitch in her place,  
  
and there's nothing you can do about it!"  
  
Hermione had almost fainted when Professor McGonagall swore.  
  
"Honestly, Professor--" a voice started.   
  
It was Susan Bones...yet again in a *Gryffindor* class. She soon knew what a mistake she had made for saying that out loud.  
  
"SILENCE!" McGonagall shrieked, "I do not need--"  
  
Professor McGonagall stopped. Her eyes widened. She realized that Susan Bones was in the wrong class after recently  
  
getting into a significant amount of trouble, being sent to Dumbledore's office, and causing McGonagall to kick  
  
Professor Sprout's ass.  
  
"YOU!!!" McGonagall yelled, pointing. Her voice had suddenly deepened.   
  
The room went dark. Swirling clouds appeared outside, and a bright bolt of lighting flashed by the window.  
  
The students had never seen Professor McGonagall like this before. It was utterly and completely terrifying. Some screamed.  
  
Others hid under their desks, and a few ran out of the classroom. Neville Longbottom even wet his pants.  
  
Susan finally extracted a few words from her dry throat. "But Professor...I can explain...I..."  
  
"PETRIFICUS TOTALIS!" McGonagall screamed, dragging Susan by the hair to Dumbledore's office.  
  
Her voice thundered across the room. It was a defining roar. All went silent after she exited. It remained dark, and  
  
the storms outside continued to brew.  
  
The class sat in silence for ten minutes until Professor Flitwick strolled into the room.  
  
"Ah," he said," She left quite a mess, didn't she?" Flitwick pointed to the clouds outside. "Not a problem. Evane--"  
  
He was stopped by a bolt of lighting that smashed through the window and struck his wand.  
  
"Ah. She must have put an anti-charm hex on it," Flitwick explained, trying to smile. He was completely fried. Both he  
  
and his clothing were pitch black and smoking from the blast.  
  
"Are you...alright, professor?" Hermione asked, quietly.  
  
He responded in a voice that was much hazier than his normal squeaky voice, "Oh, yes...fine," he coughed, smoke coming  
  
out of his mouth. "Don't worry about me, dear. If I were you, I'd worry about the witch."  
  
The class looked on, listening.  
  
"Did you see her?!" Flitwick exclaimed, regaining his squeakiness. "She looked absolutely horrendous! She stomped into  
  
my class dragging who appeared to be the Hufflepuff, Ms. Bones, by the hair! Then she screamed in an alarmingly deep voice  
  
ordering me to come and watch all of you!"  
  
It was so dark in the classroom that one could barely see the extremely small professor.  
  
"I obviously didn't hesitate," he continued, still crispy. "So I ran here as fast as possible. I didn't want to incur  
  
the wrath of Dark McGonagall!"  
  
"Speaking ill of a fellow professor, are we?" someone said from the darkness.  
  
The students looked towards the voice, and a shadow wafted into the light.  
  
"Honestly, Filius. I would expect more from a Ravenclaw," Professor Snape said icily.  
  
"Severus, I was..." Professor Flitwick began.  
  
"Letting the students out ten minutes late?" Snape queried, then looked at the class, "Well, what are you waiting  
  
for? Get to class, you idiots!" Snape ordered.  
  
The students quickly shuffled out of the room.  
  
"We shall see what the headmaster has to say about this," Snape said evilly, raising his eyebrow towards the Charms  
  
Master.  
  
In the hallway the kids were able to speak finally.  
  
"At least we're going to a normal class next," Hermione said.  
  
Ron looked at his schedule, "Yes! Quidditch is next!" he exclaimed. 


	5. Quidditch Confusion

Chapter 4: Quidditch Confusion  
  
"First, I'd like to introduce myself," Oliver Wood began, taking a wad of snuff and putting it in his mouth.  
  
"Why is he introducing himself when everybody already knows who he is?" Draco whispered.  
  
Crabbe and Goyle laughed.  
  
"Would you like to share that with the class, Mr. Malfoy?" Oliver asked.  
  
"I would love to, Wood, but I just did," Malfoy sneered.  
  
"Just ignore him, Professor," Hermione told him.  
  
"Don't tell me what to do, Miss Granger; and don't interrupt me," Wood replied.  
  
Hermione scoffed.  
  
"As I was saying, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Professor Wood."  
  
Crabbe and Goyle burst into laughter again.  
  
While Wood informed Crabbe and Goyle that they had detention, the students talked amongst themselves. Some noticed  
  
that Susan Bones was yet again in a Gryffindor class even after "The McGonagall Incident."  
  
Oliver continued his speech, "I was seeker and captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and won the Quidditch cup  
  
my last year."  
  
"*Harry* won the cup," Ron stated, perturbed.  
  
"Well, he helped of course. I won't deny that," he replied.  
  
"*Helped*?!" Harry yelled. "'You catch this and we win, Potter,'" he said imitating Wood's voice.  
  
"Before we can we begin class, everyone needs to check the list," Oliver continued, ignoring him. "If you're not on the  
  
list, you're not in my class."  
  
Ron grabbed the list and took the liberty of reading it out loud," Neville Longbottom... Hermione Granger...that's it..."  
  
Hermione's mouth fell open. "WHAT?!" Hermione screamed at Ron, snatching the list. "Why am *I* on this list,  
  
Professor?"  
  
"That list contains the names of all students involved in Quidditch related accidents. Bet you wish you hadn't  
  
set Professor Snape's cloak on fire now!" Wood retorted.  
  
"That was you? Awesome!" Neville told her.  
  
"Longbottom and Granger, I would ask that you please leave my class before you waste anymore of my time." Oliver said,  
  
spitting.  
  
"He just spat chewin' 'tabacca' all over my brand new cloak!" Hermione wailed.  
  
"Be quiet. You and Mr. Longbottom can converse on the way to your new class, Listening Skills. Or perhaps you'd enjoy  
  
Shut Your Mouth 101?"  
  
"I'm going to speak to Dumbledore about this!" Hermione cried.  
  
"You are of course more than welcome to do so. Professor Dumbledore, however, is not here, so Professor McGonagall  
  
is whom you would want to talk to. *She* wrote the list."  
  
Neville and Hermione, finally giving up, walked off toward the school.  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot," Wood began, now speaking to the class, "Madam Hooch and I have been battling all summer, so--"  
  
A sudden light came crashing through the Quidditch filed. Out from the large hole in the side of the stadium that  
  
was created by this phenomenon came none other than Madam Hooch. She was covered from head to toe in dirt, and she  
  
was dragging a stunned Snape behind her.  
  
"I told you that I would have my revenge at any cost, Wood! Professor Snape was so kind as to give me the password into  
  
the field," Madam Hooch said with a crazy look in her eyes.  
  
"And?" Oliver asked, uninterested.  
  
"I *need* my job, Oliver."  
  
"You need to take a bath, you filthy bitch. Scourgify!" Professor Wood yelled.  
  
Bubbles flew at Madam Hooch, and then they came together to form the words: Dirty Lesbian, around her.  
  
"I will not be made a fool of!" she shrieked throwing kicks and punches in every direction.  
  
"It seems you already have," Wood declared.  
  
"An Imperius Curse will change your mind! Just like it did Severus'."   
  
Madam Hooch reached for her wand. Snape, who had recently regained consciousness, stood behind Hooch. He then suddenly  
  
front flipped over her, scorpion kicked her in the face, landed, and wicked his hair giving the students  
  
a menacing look.  
  
"One word about this to the Headmaster, and I will personally see to it that everyone of you are expelled," he  
  
sneered.  
  
Snape pointed his wand at himself and muttered Scourgify in a rather irritated tone.  
  
"The nerve of that woman," he said to himself.  
  
He heard a laugh from the students. One student was in fact laughing so hard that she was crying.  
  
"Miss Bones?!" What do you think you're doing here?!"  
  
Susan immediately ceased her laughter and ran towards the school.  
  
Snape turned to Wood and said, "Use your card on Hooch, you ignorant twit." He then went after Susan, his robes  
  
billowing quickly behind him.  
  
Everyone had been so busy discussing what had just happened that they failed to notice that Madam Hooch was no longer  
  
knocked out.  
  
Wood dug out his Chocolate Frog Card and threw it like a ninja star at Madam Hooch. It bounced off her  
  
and fell to the ground next to Harry. Madam Hooch burst into maniacal laughter.  
  
"You don't even know how to use your Chocolate Fog Card!" Madam Hooch screamed.  
  
"I don't need it to kick your sorry ass," Oliver said reaching into his pocket.  
  
"Did you see that earlier, Ron?" Harry asked him.  
  
"Yeah, mate. I was right beside you," he answered.  
  
"I'm talking about Snape! When he was going after Susan, he feet didn't even touch the ground!"  
  
"Please, he needs no broomstick to fly, Harry," Draco said suddenly.  
  
"Harry?" Ron whispered wide-eyed, "Since when does he call you Harry?"  
  
Harry shrugged and bent down to pick up the card that had landed near him. He noticed that it, like Snape's, had  
  
Professor Dumbledore's picture on it.  
  
"Man, we could use some help right about now," Harry said to Ron.  
  
"Looking for this?" Hooch asked holding out Wood's wand of wood. He had been looking for it in his robes.  
  
"Aaaavvaaaddaaa," she hissed as everyone on the field was suddenly knocked down by a violent gust of wind.  
  
A huge, pink bubble floated down from the sky and landed on the ground. The bubble popped and revealed an ever enthusiastic  
  
Dumbledore.   
  
"Surprise! I'm back!" he cried gleefully.  
  
"Please, professor. Madam Hooch has escaped from Azkaban Prison," Wood told him.  
  
"Oh, and about time, too."  
  
Oliver looked shocked.  
  
"Now that the dementors are no longer guarding the dread fortress, anyone could escape...even...Lucius Malfoy."  
  
Dumbledore stated, giving Wood "The Look."  
  
Madam Hooch rose from the ground, both wands in her hand.  
  
"I'll be taking those, Ah!" Dumbledore whispered.  
  
Both wands suddenly flew into the Headmaster's hand.  
  
"Pity," he said, examining a broken one, "It appears that your wand has split in two."  
  
Dumbledore let out a soft laugh as he tossed Madam Hooch's wand behind him.  
  
"She's getting away, professor," Ron yelled.  
  
"Ah, what's the spell again? Oh, yes. Sméagol...Déagol..." Dumbledore said as Madam Hooch took off running.  
  
Sméagol and Déagol shot out of the end of Dumbledore's wand that he had been pointing at Hooch. They ran towards her.  
  
"I wants it. Where is its?" Sméagol inquired.  
  
"Now where did I put that ring?" Albus asked himself.  
  
He pulled out several boxes of chocolate Frog Cards from his left pocket.  
  
"Must be in the other," He smiled.  
  
The Headmaster reached into his right pocket and held out a golden ring. Sméagol's eyes grew wide.  
  
"Gives us the precious! Wes will do anythings for the precious!"  
  
"Will you please dispose of that woman?" Dumbledore asked, indicating Madam Hooch.  
  
"Yesss! Wes will ring her filthy neck!" Sméagol said excited.  
  
"Very well," he answered, tossing the ring to the creature.  
  
Sméagol and Déagol ran after Madam Hooch who was screaming like a little girl who had lost her lemon drop.  
  
"Now that the Madam hooch problem is about to be solved, you may report to your next class," Dumbledore said smiling.  
  
Harry looked down at his watch. "But professor, this class isn't over for another thirty minutes," Harry told him.  
  
"Very well then, off you go," Dumbledore replied.  
  
The students reluctantly walked towards Hogwarts.  
  
"Professor Wood, I believe that you let Mr. potter pick...up...your...ChocolateFrogCard!" Dumbledore said seriously.  
  
"Do you realize what could happen if the secret...isnolongerasecret?!"  
  
"Yes, professor," Oliver replied, his head hung down low.  
  
"I believe that I will keep your Chocolate Frog Card until I think you are ready for the...great...terrible, yes...  
  
but great responsibility that comes with it..."  
  
"Of course, I understand."  
  
"And if you would please clean up the field, Wood, I'll go relieve Professor McGonagall from my duties," Dumbledore  
  
said and walked towards the school.  
  
After he had gone a few steps, he noticed that Susan Bones was on the ground screaming. Albus walked forward a  
  
few more steps, looked over at Susan, and saw that a bat was flying around. It was periodically swooping down at her  
  
face, scratching, clawing, and biting her.  
  
Dumbledore stood there for a while and twiddled his thumbs. Then he said, "I think that's quite enough, Severus."  
  
The bat suddenly disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and Professor Snape was now standing beside Susan.  
  
"Headmaster," he said, facing Dumbledore. "You're back earlier than expected."  
  
"Yes, er--Fawkes owled me and informed me that I left him without food," Dumbledore explained, smiling.  
  
"Ah ,and the Madam Hooch situation?" Severus replied.   
  
"She's gone," Dumbledore answered.   
  
"But I have an important matter to discuss with her."  
  
"I have a feeling that that opportunity will arise...one day..." he said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Now  
  
to Miss Bones' punishment," Dumbledore said helping up the girl, "This makes your 456th time to be in the...  
  
wrong class. Normallyyouwouldbeexpelled! However...Professor McGonagall has decided your fate."  
  
Susan trembled in fear.   
  
"No!" She cried, "I mean, Professor Snape should decide it."   
  
Snape's mouth went into a large grin.  
  
"No," he said, glaring at Snape, "I think he's had enough fun for today." Dumbledore gave "The Look."  
  
Snape frowned.  
  
Dumbledore reached into his robes and pulled out a stack of paper over a foot tall. "Ah! These are the assignments  
  
written by Professor McGonagall for your detentions. You have detention...every day...every year...for the...  
  
remainderofyourstayatthisschool," Dumbledore said happily.  
  
Susan's eyes were welling with tears.   
  
"You may go to your class now," Dumbledore said, handing her the stack of papers.  
  
Susan fell to the ground from the weight of the stack.  
  
"Perhaps Professor Snape can levitate them for you," he suggested.  
  
"If I might, Headmaster. A quick word with you first," Snape said.  
  
"What is it, Severus?"  
  
"One of the house elves has misplaced an article of my clothing. I was wondering if you had received it by mistake."  
  
"No, I haven't seen your shirt," Dumbledore answered, smirking.  
  
"I never said it was a shirt," Snape said, his eyes moving side to side.  
  
"I think I hear Fawkes calling. You will of course excuse me, Severus." 


	6. I Have My Suspicions Tengo Mis Sospechas

Chapter 5: I Have My Suspicions (Yo Tengo Mis Sospechas)  
  
"Silence, Miss Granger!" Professor McGonagall screamed. " I know you took it!"  
  
"Took what, professor?" Hermione asked, shaking.  
  
"Don't use that ungrateful tone with me! 50 points from Gryffinwhore! Someone stole my T.V. cable! That's what!"  
  
Ron looked up and whispered, humbly, "Who do you think it was?"  
  
"I have my suspicions," she sneered, glaring at the class.  
  
"Minerva!" Dumbledore said in a loud voice from McGonagall's doorway, suddenly appearing.  
  
"ALBUS?! Where did you come from? I didn't see you!"  
  
"You...know...where." Dumbledore whispered, giving her "The Look." "You of all people should know that a don't need a...  
  
cloak...to become invisible."  
  
Professor McGonagall coughed violently. "Yes! Yes! Indeed!" She replied loudly, agreeing.  
  
"Now if you would please leave the Gryffin...'whore' alone. Even though you must be absolutely potty with her.  
  
Shedidnotstealyourcable!" The Headmaster stated, smiling.  
  
"How did you know that the cable to my T.V. was missing, Albus?!" McGonagall cried in shock.  
  
He smiled. "I know...*ALL*, Minerva. I have powers you can't even imagine."  
  
All of the students' eyes were on Dumbledore.  
  
"And if you really want to know where your cable is," Dumbledore continued, "I suggest you look more closely at...this."  
  
He turned slowly to point across the hall to the pathway that led down to the dungeons...where *Professor Snape* taught.  
  
"SEVERUS?!" she shrieked.  
  
"Yes! And how do I know you wonder? Well...you *know*...how I know." Dumbledore grinned hugely as he finished.  
  
Professor McGonagall's face was bright red.  
  
"Now the real reason I have come here, Minerva, is because I will be holding an emergency staff meeting in my office.  
  
It will be held in an hour...Don't be late." Albus whispered, giving her one last glare of "The Look."  
  
"Of course." The Deputy Headmistress agreed. She turned to her students and yelled, "Get back to work!"  
  
The all quickly did as they were told, and Neville Longbottom spilled an ink bottle all over himself from the fright.  
  
"Now, Albus," she said turning back to where Dumbledore was, "We sh--"  
  
He was gone. The doorway was empty, but you could here a faint, "Ah!" and a bit a smoke was still floating in the doorway.  
  
"How does he do that?! No matter! I'm off to see Professor Snape's class! Class dismissed!"  
  
The students quickly ran out of the room and went to whichever class they had next. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, to their  
  
dismay had Potions with Snape next.  
  
A few minutes later, Professor McGonagall stomped across the hall, but was suddenly stopped by a dementor.  
  
"Ah, Severus, I was just wanting to see you! I have had word that you stole a cable cord from my television!"  
  
The dementor stood in front of Minerva floating silently.  
  
"Well?! Is it true, Severus?! Did you take it or not?!" McGonagall screamed.  
  
The hooded dementor said nothing.  
  
"ANSWER ME!"  
  
A hand slowly protruded from the cloak of the dementor, and reached towards the professor.  
  
"Severus! You really need to take a bath! I mean, *honestly*, look at you hands! Lotion much?!"  
  
The hood covering the dementor's face fell off, and McGonagall finally realized that the cloaked figure was not Severus Snape.  
  
"*JESUS CHRIST*!!!"  
  
"Expecto Patronus!" a voice thundered, and a silver miniature poodle ran towards the creature, tackled it, and finally  
  
drove it away.  
  
"Ah!" the voice said, gleefully.  
  
"ALBUS?!" Professor McGonagall shouted.  
  
"Yes! And just in time I see." Dumbledore whispered, smiling. "I didn't know the dementor would attack anyone. I  
  
specifically ordered it not to."  
  
"WHAT?! You ordered that...THING...here?!"  
  
"Yes! He was supposed to inform me when...a...*special*...er...*guest*...arrived." he stated, giving her "The Look."  
  
McGonagall was shaking with anger. "I cannot believe that--"  
  
"Very well, then. Off you go." The Headmaster said, interrupting her. "Back to class, Minerva."  
  
As if by and spell (and probably so) Professor McGonagall found herself walking back towards her classroom.  
  
"Don't forget the meeting, Minerva. I have some special notices to announce." Dumbledore whispered, waving at McGonagall.  
  
Suddenly the dungeon door flew open, and Professor Snape wafted up the steps towards Dumbledore.  
  
"Ah! Severus!" he said, joyfully.  
  
"Pisculpi." Snape stated.  
  
"Ah! I see that you've been working on your Spanish, Severus...*Excelente*!" Dumbledore whispered, happily, giving him  
  
"The Look."  
  
Snape flinched.  
  
"Yes, Headmaster, I was wondering if I could have a word with you?"  
  
Professor Dumbledore smiled. "I told you before, Severus, I have no idea where your shirt is."  
  
"I know, I don't think it was you."  
  
"I thought so. Well, who do you...*think*...took it?"  
  
Snape suddenly wicked his head towards Professor McGongall's classroom, his hair flying as he did so.  
  
You could still see that Minerva was in the trance that Dumbledore had put her in. She was grading papers, but looked  
  
like a robot.  
  
"Yo tengo mis sospechas," he sneered.  
  
"Yo veo." Dumbledore grinned more. "Now I think you should head back to class before I have to...*persuade*...you."  
  
Once again he issued Snape "The Look."  
  
He knew better than to say anything to Albus Dumbledore, and he began walking back to the dungeons.  
  
"Oh, Severus, do not forget the...staff meeting," Dumbledore whispered, smiling.  
  
Snape only nodded, and then he wafted back down to the dungeons and threw open the door.  
  
Snape walked briskly into the classroom, his robes billowing behind him as usual. The professor, however, did not look his  
  
usual self. In fact, he looked more angry than usual.  
  
"What's wrong with Snape?" Hermione whispered to Harry.  
  
"Huh?" Harry responded, focusing on his Potions essay that was due today.  
  
"He didn't even say 'Good afternoon, you idiots'." Hermione stated.  
  
"And?" Harry asked still not paying attention to her.  
  
"WELL. If you're not going to listen to me, I'll just talk to Ron!" she said loudly.  
  
"Cease that shrieking, Miss Granger," Snape said not even looking up from his desk, "20 points from Gryffindor. Honestly,  
  
Weasel, learn to control your girl."  
  
"WHAT?!" Ron yelled.  
  
"If you would have been paying attention instead of writing your essay, you would have heard me," Snape said, giving him an  
  
evil glare, "I said 'Honestly, *Weasley*, learn to control *that* girl."  
  
"That's not what you said," Harry said defiantly still scribbling on his essay.  
  
"*SILENCE*!" he spit. "Stop writing, and hand in your essays, you morons."  
  
Ron, Harry, and Neville continued to work on theirs.  
  
"ACCIO! ACCIO! ACCIO!" Snape screamed, making the papers fly into his hands. He looked down at Neville's paper.   
  
"Oh, dear," the professor said in mock concern, "It seems your essay is smeared. I can read a word of it."   
  
He crumbled the parchment into a ball and threw it into the trashcan with a smirk on his face.   
  
"Now that that issue is resolved. I have a brief announcement to make. An item of my clothing is missing. If any one of you  
  
know where it is or who has it, it would behoove you to tell me."  
  
The class went silent.  
  
Hermione's hand popped up.  
  
"Oh, so it was you, Miss Granger. I might have known. A year of detention if you return it now. Two years if it remains  
  
unreturned."  
  
"No, professor. It wasn't me. I wanted to know what kind of clothing it is." Hermione stated meekly.  
  
"What concern is that of yours?" Snape yelled, his face red.  
  
"Professor," Draco said in his usual snobbish tone, "Those stupid house elves probably lost it. They've been delivering me   
  
Potter's clothes for some time." Draco smiled at Harry.   
  
"Give those back, Malfoy," Harry demanded.  
  
"I'm afraid I can't. You see it was awfully cold the other day in the dormitory, and I had to burn them for warmth," he  
  
retorted.  
  
"You did n-" Crabbe cut off by an elbow in the stomach.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Crabbe, for trying to reiterate the fact that Potter's clothes were burned for the slower portion  
  
of the class," Snape said glaring at the Gryffindors.  
  
Harry gave Snape a look of pure hate.  
  
"How tragic this is, Potter. My condolences." Snape said looking as if his day had finally come. "I'm pretty sure it was  
  
not the house elves, Mr. Malfoy. Ignorant as they may be, they would never make the mistake of losing *my* clothing."  
  
"You should report it to Dumbledore, professor," Draco suggested.  
  
"*Professor* Dumbledore. And thank you, but I already have. The Headmaster has more important issues at the moment.  
  
He told me that he has no idea where it is, but...I have my suspicions," Snape said, wicking his head towards the pathway  
  
that led upstairs to where McGonagall's room was.  
  
The class started to whisper amongst themselves.  
  
"Shut up, you dim-witted twits!" Snape yelled. "Get to work on this potion." He swished his wand and instructions  
  
appear on the chalkboard.  
  
Hermione decided to work with Harry due to the fact that Snape would no longer let her be Neville's partner. Any chance of   
  
Neville passing Potions had disappeared, and he had been forced by a very happy Snape to work with Ron for the rest of the   
  
year.  
  
"So what happened in Quidditch class the other day?" Hermione whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear her.  
  
"It's a long and crazy story. I'll tell you at lunch," Harry said cutting up a mandrake root.  
  
"Malfoy called Harry by his first name," Ron stated in a low voice from the cauldron next to them.  
  
"He what?" Hermione asked, not believing her ears.  
  
"I don't have any idea why though," Harry told her.  
  
"Don't lie," Ron said, putting in his two cents.  
  
"I really don't. Why would he?" Harry asked, with a look of cluelessness on his face.  
  
"We have our suspicions," Hermione replied looking over at Ron.  
  
"Be silent, fools!" Snape demanded, finally hearing the conversation. "Class, I have a staff meeting to attend.  
  
GET OUT, NOW!"  
  
The class darted out of the dungeons and ran out of the door.  
  
***  
  
Professor Dumbledore was busy peering inside the closet in his office. He smiled as he saw a shirt and a T.V.  
  
cable tucked away safely at the back. He closed the closet and locked it.  
  
"Ah! You may enter," he said, directing his attention to the door where the staff members had been waiting outside.  
  
One by one they all lined up in front of Dumbledore's desk and the door closed behind them.  
  
"Where is...*Severus*?" Albus asked, giving all of the staff "The Look."  
  
The door burst open suddenly, and Professor Snape wafted in. "Here I am, Headmaster."  
  
"Tu eres tarde," Dumbledore whispered, smiling.  
  
Snape gritted his teeth. "Lo siento."  
  
"Very well. Let the staff meeting...begin!" Dumbledore cried, gleefully. "I have called you all here to tell you that we  
  
have yet...another...*another*...traitor...in our midst."  
  
Everyone gasped.  
  
"Yes! There is a spy!"  
  
Madam Pompfrey spoke up. "Who is the spy, Albus?"  
  
"Yo tengo mis sospechas," he whispered, giving Severus "The Look."  
  
"What did he say?" Professor Flitwick pipped in.  
  
"He said you need to learn the language!" Professor Snape spat. 


End file.
